What Will the Year bring

You know how we all set resolutions as soon as New Year comes? Well I hate that. I believe in setting yourself goals right then and there. As soon as you think of something you want to get done, you figure out how and go for it. Waiting around for the next year is such a waste of your time. I still took a time (just like I do at the end of each month) to reflect and plan. I don't just say what I would love to accomplish. I put it down on a paper and find a way to reach it. If at the end of certain time, it still didnt happen, that just drives me forward to make my dream or ambition a reality.

Sharing these little goals is something I do not normally do. But I decided to reflect a little with you on what a year has brought to me and what my plans for the next one are. 

In 2018 I really wanted to work on how I feel. Self love and taking care of myself was very important. I wanted to have fun with friends, make my house into a home, go on a few little fun trips and grow my clientele as well as my skills. I also wished for a camera, which was something I have wanted to get for myself for almost 3 years and thought I' d get back to my hobby as a photographer. 

All of this has been accomplished in some kind of way.
My work life is great. I love my clients to bits and am very thankful for every single one of them. They help me get creative and often challenge the crap out of me.
As far as traveling, I mostly went to see my family and friends. Went on two trips to Budapest which was super lovely and extremely hot. This gave me a chance to get into photography. That I continued with over the year. Although I did not do as many shoots as I hoped to, I will soon change that.
My house definitely feels like a home. This was actually a prove of what I mentioned earlier. Do not wait till beginning of the year. I finally managed to redecorate the flat and make it into a cosy space just recently. I mean it is never too late to achieve your plan.

I also learned that it is okay to loose people in your life. Maybe you just drift apart or go through a rough patch. We all grow as individuals and there is no guarantee, that you will all follow the same path. Sounds cheezy but I am sure it is the best way to explain it.

Love! That is a strong word. Maintaining relationships as friendships or with your partner can be challenging. You have to put in so much work and effort to keep things fun yet consistent. The trickiest love is the one we have with ourselves. It is easy to loose it. And hella tough  to pick back up. I lost a lot of confidence in myself. At one point I was surprising everyone around me with how happy and strong I felt. I felt attractive and competent. I knew I can do anything I put my mind to. That has all gone to hell. The worst feeling is not having the one love you need the most. I mean even Ru Paul himself said 'If you can' t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else.' And boy was he right. Looking in a mirror and not recognizing who you are seeing, makes you feel lost. Once you don' t even know who you are, how are others supposed to feel about you?
I did take my time though and built myself back up again. Made sure to have 'me time', exercise, start liking what I see in my own reflection, eat good and do what I like. I also spent some time with family over the summer which made me remember my old self. I am all good now and I am sure I will only get better.

Finished 2018 on strong note with redecorated home, new hair and everyone I love.

What is next to come? Noone can answer that. I am feeling really good though and hope for good things.
I would love to learn at least the basics in Spanish, travel a little more as I actually never had a proper holiday yet, get better in my job and change a few things around professionally , shoot more, create more and love.

What are your plans? Do you set resolutions or just dreams?
Love,
Deni.