FAFO parenting and my experience

 I am a mum of two. Yes you read that right. If you are someone who has been reading my blog for years now, that will be a shock to you as I haven’t been super active in writing. But hey, now you know the reason for that. 

In the last nearly 3 years I have learned a lot about parenting. I learned about myself, my child, parenting techniques etc. There are many ways to raise your children and you should not let anyone dictate what works for you or your child to be more specific. As a second time mumma I am also seeing that not every kid needs the same type of parenting. My son is 3 months old now and seems to be pretty different to what my daughter was. So who knows what the next year will bring me with him. 

One thing I am sure about though, is that my daughter is already at 2 and 9 months very strong willed. She is independent and most of the times stubborn as heck. But that basically describes most of the toddlers and 3 year olds out there right? 

I have been seeing this parenting technique FAFO blowing up online and I realised that is exactly what I have been using on my daughter most of the time and it seems to be working the best for us. FAFO or F*ck around and find out- is parenting where you let children learn their lesson and concequences on their own. To a certain degree of course. 

They dont want to put their raincoat on when its raining outside? Fine, don’t wear one. Oh you got wet and now you’re cold? Well what are we gonna do now? Change into dry clothes and wear that raincoat? Sounds good. 

You want to climb that slide instead of taking the stairs? You want to throw those rocks up in the air? Okay see what happens. Oh you got hurt? What are we gonna change about your actions next time then? 

See what I mean? I have adapted to this after realising that gentle parenting and other methods just really didn’t work for us. Of course I still maintain strict rules about some aspects of our day and throw a sprinkle of gentle parenting into the mix. I try to help my kid with her emotions and listen to her. Help her understand her feelings and what to do with them. But most of the time FAFO is our way to get through the day. 

And you know what? I have really started noticing it working. She will now try to tell her cousin or friends off for doing things she knows will hurt them. She gives me a glance before doing something naughty and changes her mind without me having to say a word. She drags her daddy from the road onto the sidewalk where she knows its safe. 

We are nowhere near perfect parents and she still is a toddler testing her boundaries and our patience but I must say, if you haven’t yet- try it! 

It has also given me a bit more of a peace of mind and I find myself stressing out less. I have always been worried about everything and saw her hurt before she even left the house. But this makes me feel little more at ease. I tell myself not to stress at every corner and every minute of the day as I know now that she has to learn some of life lessons on her own.

Till next time

Deni