Those Few Nice Days

My posts seem so sad and depressive and extremly stressed lately. If I even publish them haha. I know! I am not as miserable as it might seem though guys. Trust me! Need a prove? I know my mum does on daily bases. haha. 

Here is a little vlog I did over a week ago when my friend came to visit. Was loads fun so hope you will enjoy our awkward selfs.

And a few more posts will be up featuring Timi soon so keep your eyes ready.
Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fullest.
xoxo
DeniVev :*

Harder each day aka Deni rumbles. Again.

Life gets complicated. Harder and harder with every new day. Older I get more I realize this. I always knew that being grown up and all will be rough. I mean of course those eye bags under everyone's eyes meant trouble. I was getting myself in trouble. We all are. There is no normal or easy way to go around this. Its natural process. Sometimes it feels like somebody up there is playing a joke on us and one day I will wake up and our God or Goddess will say its all been just a test. Exam for strongest individuals. And price is an easier, happier or even healthier life. Wouldn't that be fantastic?

Talking bout exams. I had to take a few in last couple of weeks and let me tell you, those people over there making them must be high. The rules get weirder each year. We get questions we don't even understand. I know the point is to see if your brain even works right, but can somebodys mind have certain capacity? How much can one remember before running out of space. I daily feel like a little notification 'storage running low' will pop right across my forehead.We take in so many information each day. Wish I could just select what is going to stay there and what I am going to trash. I would honestly bin most of the things my brain deals with every day...

We would have so much nicer and care free type of life. I have too many people around me that I let close. I am also easy to effect so if you are having a bad day, high chances are that my day is going to get worst too. If you feel down my empathy is going to kick in and imma feel flippin down. Like seriously. My mood is going to drop it low! But if I had a chance of selecting what I let into my brain I wouldnt get these moods, now would I? Easier life!

I dont even know what I am rumbling bout over here. But try to think about this? What if there really is just someone playing a joke on us. I mean we probably have a whole script wrote down. Every step we take or will take is written down and we are just dolls in somebodys playhouse. Barely getting by.

Think haha.
Or don't! Give yourself a break boo!

Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fullest.
xoxo
DeniVev :*

Good or trouble

I have always been the good kid. Never in trouble. Always did as mummy said. As far she knew anyways and even if I did misbehaved it has never been something she wouldn' t laugh at today. I did have a lot of after school activities to keep me away from trouble. Now that I am an adult and can pretty much do as I decide, I still have that voice inside my head. Something telling me to get away from trouble as much as possible. This doesn' t happen to many of us though does it?

Obsessing

I have been trying to find the new me and combining things I like lately. But I love so much I dont know how to combine all of it no more haha. In a shortcut you can see here a taste of things that influence me and ehm.. well I dont think I am doing my best yet haha.

 Its all simple and mix of heels with sneakers but I can never figure out my hair do. I am bit limited with this bob I got I guess.
What is your inspiration these days? What is your source when you are struggling?

Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fullest
xoxo
DeniVev :*

I rumble. A lot

Inner Peace. What a great thing. You don't know what it is? Good...me neither. I am one of those, constantly nervous, stressed or annoyed people. Yes of course I like getting little piece of calm and I love trying to relax myself. Yet I always have little voice in me trying to keep me on my toes.
This is something even my boyfriend brought to my attention. We were barely dating back then and he said, he never actually saw me calm and properly chilled.
How can one do that though? With so much happening around all of us, how can one be really down to earth calm. Not dead kind of chilled. Like you still care -and breath- but you couldn' t actually give less shit.
But then, yeah I guess this little thing called -love- is able to make you feel little better. As if you forgot bout everything that happened that day. To make this little cheesier, that is what having my man around feels like. It doesn't necessarily always relaxes me or calms me down. It makes me forget. He makes me forget. Is that the key to inner peace then? Forgetting bout things that trouble you? Makes sense like.

For example I do have some stuff happening now, bit too personal for me to write bout them. This weekend we went for a night time date to town. Drinks and chat. Sweet sugary looks. Sunday spent by going for little road trip. I only thought of my trouble like twice and that was us trying to solve it. Other then that I felt like a happy little girl. Wow is that what love feels like? I never knew it was so powerful. Am I getting too cheesy now? Oh well.

Anyways, how are you guys? All good? I know this was pretty rumble today. I just felt like writing and this is what came out. Haha. Well thank you if you made it all the way here. What other rumble would you like me to do?
Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fullest.
xoxo
DeniVev :*

Show her around

My mum visited the other day. First time. It was her first time in the UK, in Liverpool, on the beach, in my house, meeting my boyfriend, eating at Nandos, shopping at Primark etc. A lot has gone down in her 4 day stay. Was funny, weird, we were happy and also sad. Was great over all.
I had to snap as much of it all as I could. And you know me. I am not the one to let all of this go to waste, so this is where I' ll properly bomb you with my photo diary. Enjoy.

 What do you think about Liverpool? Have you ever visited? Personaly I am getting bored. Very bored. Wish there was more to do or places to visit.

 I' ll be back to proper blogging soon. Don' t worry.
Love
Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fulest
xoxo
DeniVev

Today in a shortcut

Not every day of your life will turn out the way you want it to. That is obvious. Everyone knows that. But we all have those days when nothing goes by a plan yet you are still busy as a motherf*cker and there isn' t much that could surprise you anymore. Today was one of those. All of my plans have been canceled or rescheduled, I still had 100 things to sort out  and I got completely lost in time so by almost 4 o clock I still didn' t have a single toast to eat. What a life haha. 

Yea, adulthood and responsibilities suck. But as Rag' n Bone sings: Some people have the real problemsss....! I am really not one to cry yet honestly. And as he also sings : I' m only human after all. So I need to give it a break haha.

No moaning allowed. Well. I am a natural moaner so slight bit should be okay. Right?! haha
So the day really consisted of sending out CVs, boring but important phone calls, making schedules, groceries shopping, freezing, more calls, more CVs and a lot of music. Not much you can write about to be fair.

But hey, I just did. I wrote bout my boring ass life. I guess that is one thing I got good at.
How are you keeping yourself on top of things. Does it get easier?

Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fullest
xoxo
DeniVev :*

My dream

I dream. I am a dreamer. Anyone close to me knows that. Or anyone reading my blog for that matter. One of my favorite things to picture in my head is my future house. HOME. I had a talk about this with someone special. What home actually means. It isn' t necessarily a place. Nothing you can touch. It is about a feeling someone can give you. Attachment, Peace, Happiness....
I still do have a bit of a materialist in me though. There are things that make all that magical feeling a person gives you seem right. For me its mix of materials. Anything that makes you feel warmer around your closest. That includes light. Well what if I just show you. I actually found this place that looks absolutely perfect. Space I can imagine myself all loved up with someone special.

How do you choose tho

I love fashion. Shocker right?! Yes I am trying to be funny and sarcastic. Welcome to random rumbles of Deni the DeniVev haha. No now seriously. One of my favorite parts of the day, except for the one where you finally go to bed, is dressing up to finally get out the house.

This might be surprising to some but I really dont spend all my day in gigantic hoodies with laptop in my lap and loud music on. Ay I said.. not ALL day, okay?

Cleanse your mind and help your body

Help your body or feel like you are about to pass out?! I go through both stages within 10 minutes of my, now pretty daily runs. It is obvious that in most cases it really is amazing for your body to run. Great work out. My reason why I started years ago is that it helps my head. I really do clear my mind.
The only thing i focus on is my breath. The regular -sometime worryingly irregular- sound of my own body. Nothing else. Keeping it all same. Giving myself new targets and goals to get to. And I do love seeing my daily progress.

I couldn' t do it without music though. I need something to keep me pumped up and going. Some good beat. It always changes. I think I have a new set of songs every week. Maybe even more often then that. Lately it was more of  London roadman kinda vibe. At least thats how I would try to classify it. Are you listening to something whilst running? Or are you one of those silent runners?

And a lot more and more songs. This is actually only a little pick from my todays playlist haha.

What do you think about running? Doesn' t it help a lot of problems? Or at least makes them feel smaller?
Until next time keep safe and live your life to the fullest

xoxo

DeniVev :* 

Be Positive. At least a bit.

I was cruising round with my boyfriend the other day. He pointed out something I didn' t really realize bout myself before. I have moments when I just giggle. A lot. I try being happy and positive so much. All the  time. Especially in situations that get a bit too serious to me. It is as if I had this safe system inside of me. A setting that goes into giggle mode the second I get anxious at certain situations.
Now I know I try to be positive. This is a characteristics a lot of people appreciate about me. Some of my friends know that in their stressful situations or any hard times, they need me around. To lighten the mood, make them feel positive, okay, like nothing big is happening. But looks like it does get out of control sometimes.

I realized that it is okay to be serious. It is alright to have a straight face. Not everyone needs cheering up. Sometimes people do need some space to stay in their grown up mode. The moment that gets me worried the most about people though is when I see them closing up. Keeping all those thoughts and problems inside. Not sharing or talking about them. I used to be that way. I kept everything for myself. Actually, I still do that most of the time. But I can make them look like a little tiny negative thing in a day. Instead of growing it in my brain. Making it look like the end of the world or overthinking.  It works. Usually. Of course there are things that get stuck in you. That is when even I have a straight face on. But usually you really do see me keeping the mood up. Smiley, happy and positive. On the outside anyways.
This is something I changed bout myself through 2016. I stopped caring bout some and started focusing on other. Making sure I always find something funny and good about situations. Suddenly the awkward moments seemed like nothing, the stressful things like exams or so became no problem or my anxieties became bearable and I am now able to get through them within few minutes. I just changed the angle I look at things. I try to keep positive and happy not only on the outside.
You don' t just see me giggle and laugh on the outside. It isn' t just my protective mechanism anymore. It is my mindset.

Problems have always been around. People will always annoy you. There will always be something that will try to hold you down or bring you there. It is just about you being you and staying true to it. Seeing things as they are but not making big things of them.
Try it and you will see that suddenly that guy you like will compliment on your smile. Your girls will be asking bout highlighter you use as you will shine like a star. Just please give it a go.

Let me know how it goes....

Until next time, keep safe and live your life to the fullest.

XoXo

DeniVev :*